Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s still here.

Have you been arrested or investigated?

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of fighting.

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

You are like me, then.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Stroll needed "urgent medical attention" for pain after qualifying - FIA · F1 - RaceFans

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

And the sadness?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Is it appropriate for parents to discipline their child in public if the child is being rude, disrespectful, and unruly towards them? Why or why not?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Warning issued to couples who have sex less than once a week as research uncovers serious risk - UNILAD

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The sadness was still there.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Be who you already are.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Are democrats eating crow?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Over 60? Forget walking and swimming — this simple exercise builds strength and balance - Tom's Guide

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I had run out of hope.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Autism and ADHD have distinct brain connectivity signatures, study finds - Medical Xpress

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.